I just wanted to add that I know that P90X isn't the only thing I'm going to be doing. I'm basically going to have a week's worth of workouts tailored to me by Carroll (thank you Carroll!), on top of my derby practices. I just wanted to really drive home that the P90X is what scares me MOST out of any workouts :) I'm really looking forward to some of the things that we can do in the summer (paddle boarding please!).
Also, in terms of food -- I'll have Tommy to help me with my meals and nutrition. He is super talented in the kitchen (he won't ever admit that himself) and makes all these delicious vegan/vegetarian meals to die for. It's just a matter of not being tempted to buy crap snacks at the store. Or to eat whatever I want when we're out and about on the town. I feel really fortunate because it's a lot easier to feel supported when you have another person you live with that shares the same views on food and health. And I can't cook for shit, so that's also another factor. My understanding, is that Carroll will plan out a basic meal structure for each week, but I feel confident with handing that over to Tommy as I don't eat meat so my diet is a little bit different than my friend Nicole's. Protein = BEANS, LOTS OF BEANS. :D
So that's it for now, for realz.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
No guts, no glory.
The day has come!
I swear, I wasn't putting this day off. I just didn't own a sports bra that doesn't give me wicked uni-boob. I'd like to thank my fellow Ladybro Bash for helping me out with my pictures and measurements cause I'm a complete moron that can't do it herself. And thank you to my twinsie Nicole for putting the photos into a cohesive bunch on her fancy pants iPhone. Thanks for not judging, ladies!
And so, without further ado, here it is.
What, you thought I'd have serious photos? Get real. I need to keep some fucking dignity here. And by dignity, I mean humor cause lord knows it's the only thing that will get me through having these photos online for the world to see. My official start date for this is July 1st, but I'm hoping to do something on my non-derby days, even if it's something small. Otherwise, I'm going to have a brain aneurysm when it comes to the real work outs.
Weight as of this morning: 191.2
I've always told myself that I would never ever reach 200. That this was the number that would jump start me to give a shit about my weight. But honestly, it would have been a HELLUVA lot easier if I had just maintained a healthy weight before I got 9lbs away from that bullshit number. Lesson learned.
Measurements:
Chest -- 40"
Biceps -- (left) 13 1/2", (right) 12 1/2"
Waist -- 37 1/2"
Hips -- 43"
Thighs -- (both left and right) 25" (would have sworn my freakish derby legs would have been bigger)
So there it is. My gut and all it's glory (see what I did there with the tying in of the blog post title? Eh? Eeeeh? Eh.). Ever since I had my appendix taken out, I've been pretty embarrassed of my stomach. Not just because I have a gut, but because they laproscopically took out my appendix, leaving a scar INSIDE of my bellybutton and making it look like a permanent frowny face. (Insert my own, REAL frowny face here).
Here is where I talk about my goals and fears. Only...I really don't have any set goals as of yet. When I think about my weight, there isn't a particular number that comes to my mind. The only thing I can think of is that sonofabitch Wii Fit, where it tells me I need to be at 145lbs. I'm sorry, but that is never going to fucking happen. Also, I'd like to point out how embarrassing it is to have a fat wii character that you have to look at all the time. I just want to fucking HULA HOOP you dickwagon. Stop making me feel bad!
I just want to get to point where I feel good. I don't really need to see a low number. In fact, I really like my curves and I'm not disillusioned into thinking those are all going to go away and I'm going to all of a sudden have a super athletic body. No thanks, I still want to be me. Just a smaller me. Oh, and I'd love to not have a double chin/gobble anymore. That would be pretty sweet. No gut and no gobble.
When I started thinking about doing this and the whole P90X thing, it scared the shit out of me. Still does, actually. I could use every excuse there is to try to get out of it (my back is bad, I don't have the time, I'm fucking tired and want a popsicle instead), because the workouts themselves scare me. But then I realized...I play fucking roller derby. So, there really is absolutely no reason why I should be terrified. I put my body through hell to be able to skate. I know this is going to be really difficult, but so is derby, and I show up 2-3 times a week, every week, for more beatings. And the thing is, I know we can modify certain things if my back isn't up for it.
I swear, I wasn't putting this day off. I just didn't own a sports bra that doesn't give me wicked uni-boob. I'd like to thank my fellow Ladybro Bash for helping me out with my pictures and measurements cause I'm a complete moron that can't do it herself. And thank you to my twinsie Nicole for putting the photos into a cohesive bunch on her fancy pants iPhone. Thanks for not judging, ladies!
And so, without further ado, here it is.
What, you thought I'd have serious photos? Get real. I need to keep some fucking dignity here. And by dignity, I mean humor cause lord knows it's the only thing that will get me through having these photos online for the world to see. My official start date for this is July 1st, but I'm hoping to do something on my non-derby days, even if it's something small. Otherwise, I'm going to have a brain aneurysm when it comes to the real work outs.
Weight as of this morning: 191.2
I've always told myself that I would never ever reach 200. That this was the number that would jump start me to give a shit about my weight. But honestly, it would have been a HELLUVA lot easier if I had just maintained a healthy weight before I got 9lbs away from that bullshit number. Lesson learned.
Measurements:
Chest -- 40"
Biceps -- (left) 13 1/2", (right) 12 1/2"
Waist -- 37 1/2"
Hips -- 43"
Thighs -- (both left and right) 25" (would have sworn my freakish derby legs would have been bigger)
So there it is. My gut and all it's glory (see what I did there with the tying in of the blog post title? Eh? Eeeeh? Eh.). Ever since I had my appendix taken out, I've been pretty embarrassed of my stomach. Not just because I have a gut, but because they laproscopically took out my appendix, leaving a scar INSIDE of my bellybutton and making it look like a permanent frowny face. (Insert my own, REAL frowny face here).
Here is where I talk about my goals and fears. Only...I really don't have any set goals as of yet. When I think about my weight, there isn't a particular number that comes to my mind. The only thing I can think of is that sonofabitch Wii Fit, where it tells me I need to be at 145lbs. I'm sorry, but that is never going to fucking happen. Also, I'd like to point out how embarrassing it is to have a fat wii character that you have to look at all the time. I just want to fucking HULA HOOP you dickwagon. Stop making me feel bad!
I just want to get to point where I feel good. I don't really need to see a low number. In fact, I really like my curves and I'm not disillusioned into thinking those are all going to go away and I'm going to all of a sudden have a super athletic body. No thanks, I still want to be me. Just a smaller me. Oh, and I'd love to not have a double chin/gobble anymore. That would be pretty sweet. No gut and no gobble.
When I started thinking about doing this and the whole P90X thing, it scared the shit out of me. Still does, actually. I could use every excuse there is to try to get out of it (my back is bad, I don't have the time, I'm fucking tired and want a popsicle instead), because the workouts themselves scare me. But then I realized...I play fucking roller derby. So, there really is absolutely no reason why I should be terrified. I put my body through hell to be able to skate. I know this is going to be really difficult, but so is derby, and I show up 2-3 times a week, every week, for more beatings. And the thing is, I know we can modify certain things if my back isn't up for it.
For those of you who don't know me that well, that is what my back looks like. See those dark discs that are squishing out? Yeah, those would be my bulging/herniated discs in L4, L5 and S1. I really do my best to not complain about it at derby or anywhere else for that matter. I rarely have a "pain-free" day. I'm talking maybe 1 or 2 days a year where I feel 100% pain free. I know my limits and don't over exert myself, but I also push myself pretty hard when it comes to derby -- so I know this whole P90X thing will be a mental test. But I know I can do it. I just need to make sure I do it right. No more excuses.
I think overall, my biggest fear is that I won't be able to follow through. I start a lot of projects and don't finish them. Only this isn't a "I-want-to-paint-this" and then I let it sit for a year and see it and think "Wait-didn't-I-say-I-was-going-to-paint-this?" project. I need to really do this for myself. I need to find some kind of motivation to make it happen. I'm hoping that when you see me, you'll grill me. I need people to annoy me. I need to be pushed. Otherwise I wouldn't be posting fucking photos of myself in a sports bra.
So, this weekend is the infamous ECDX Tournament in Philly, where my team will be taking the track Saturday and Sunday. You can watch all the action if you so please on http://wftda.tv/ (it's almost like we're a legitimate sport or something...)
I know I have my work cut out for me this weekend. Drinking lots of water (no booze!), eating right, not going into that disgusting pool and not overdoing in general it as it's supposed to be in the 80s all weekend. I probably won't be posting until after this weekend, as my brain goes onto derby overload and all technology gets tossed out the window. Phone? What phone? Gotham and Rose are bouting you asshats! Get your asses to Rink 2, STAT!
Enjoy the weekend and I'll catch you all next week!
Friday, June 15, 2012
Here goes everything.
Lets start with the basics for those of you that don't know me (which, if you don't know me -- why the Christ are you reading this).
Carroll has been one of my good friends since we met through roller derby in 2006. She's pretty much everything you want in a friend and now she is using me as her guinea pig (emphasis on the pig, what? Too soon?). The good news is, I've essentially been training with her for 6+ years. The bad news is, I've been training with her for 6+ years and know what she's capable of.
1.) Take pictures of ourselves in a (*gasp*) sports bra & spandex pants (this means I need to actually spend time buying a sports bra that doesn't give me complete uni-boob)
2.) Take our measurements
3.) Figure out what our ultimate goals are and what we're looking forward to
My name is Emma. I'm 27 and I currently live in Melrose, MA. I play roller derby with New Hampshire Roller Derby (http://www.nhrollerderby.com/). I have amazing friends and family and 2 ridiculously hilarious cats.
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| Left: Sheriff Duckfart, Right: Gene Parmesan |
I love to curse, and I hate when I'm wrong. And I could go on and on about all the fantastic things that I am and have, but lets just cut the shit and get to why I really started up this blog.
I'm overweight. Not like a "HOLY FUCK, IS THAT THE ICE CREAM TRUCK?!" fat. But I am by no means a "healthy" weight. I look at photos of myself and think "What the hell, ANOTHER BACK ROLL?!". I'm hoping that this will be a tool I can use to vent my frustrations, celebrate my victories and maybe just make myself (and hopefully others) laugh. Because honestly, life is just too damn short to not enjoy the shit out of it.
Just recently, I had a conversation with my boyfriend about the things I could do that I could control and change for the better. One of them, is to lose some weight. I don't need Extreme Makeover/Biggest Loser weight loss, but I'd be happy to have a little less baggage to carry around. And while I do skate 2-3 times a week, I find that most days I'm perfectly happy to be a complete lazy asshole. Well -- I'M TIRED OF BACK FAT.
So -- it's time to woman up, and get shit started. Meet Carroll.
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| 2009 was a good year for us Pissahs. |
In comes the "I've Made A Huge Mistake". For those of you that have never seen Arrested Development, please take a few minutes of your time to catch up on this popular phrase: http://www.collegehumor.com/video/3786003/ive-made-a-huge-mistake
I think the biggest mistake I've made, is just letting myself get to this point. I don't completely hate my body. But there are things I can't stand to look at and as the years go by, and I find myself less confident than I was in terms of body image. I feel like I've done several positive things over the last few years, including my conversion to a no-meat diet. Yes, I am a vegetarian, and I'm still getting used to saying that. It's weird. I don't drink soda, I only have 1 coffee a day, I don't really eat a TON of the horrible things I used to. But overall, I still need some work. And that's where Carroll is going to come in -- she is going to work with me to tailor a workout routine and push me to my limits. Gee, that should be fun.
But, thank Christ, I'm not the only guinea pig. One of my other great friends talked me into doing this with her. She is my friend, she is my twin, she is going to pay for making me do this with her. Nicole, you better hurry up and create your blog so I can link people to it (jk jk, I know you're going to jack up the privacy settings on that bitch)
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| OHIOOOOOO! |
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| We make pool tables look badass. |
And we were given our first assignment by Coach Carroll:
1.) Take pictures of ourselves in a (*gasp*) sports bra & spandex pants (this means I need to actually spend time buying a sports bra that doesn't give me complete uni-boob)
2.) Take our measurements
3.) Figure out what our ultimate goals are and what we're looking forward to
4.) What scares the shit out of us (we're not talking spiders here, just straight up concerns with this whole new way of life thing)
So, literally, here goes everything. I know I have my work cut out for me and that I'm not going to succeed instantly. I know there are going to be many days of "I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE, ALL I WANT TO DO IS SNUGGLE WITH GENE". And to make matters interesting. I'm making it all public. But at some point, I need to be held accountable for my actions and this is a great way of doing that. Not like anyone wants to see a picture of me in a sports bra, but what the fuck. I have a sense of humor, so dish out the comments.
Stay tuned for the pictures and measurements (I'm at work so obviously that isn't going to happen this second). And let the shit show begin! May God have mercy on my soul.
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